READY, FIRE, AIM: The Truth About the Dodo, Revealed

The dodo is one of the most iconic — and misunderstood — extinct animals. Four hundred years after its extinction, the popular narrative remains that the flightless bird was simply too dumb, slow, and ungainly to withstand modern society’s arrival to its native island of Mauritius. But researchers are seeking justice for the unfairly maligned dodo and its extinct relative, the solitaire…

— from an article by Andrew Paul in Popular Science, August 2024.

I remember feeling sad when I first learned about the dodo — aka Raphus cucullatus — hunted to extinction back in the 1600s.

My ex-wife Darlene used to call me a dodo, when she thought I was doing something stupid.  Which was often. So I’m relieved to learn that the dodo has been unfairly maligned all these years.  For centuries, actually.

It puts my own psychological suffering into perspective. 400 years from now, will anyone feel regretful that I am no longer alive? I seriously doubt it.

The University of Southampton posted a video a few days ago, featuring Neil Gostling, professor of evolution and paleobiology. The professor feels that the idea many of us have about the dodo — that it was “this dumpy, slightly stupid bird that kind of deserved to go extinct” — is inaccurate. Or at least, unkind.

In fact, he suggests that if anyone was stupid, it was the humans who invaded the island of Mauritius, the home of the dodo.

Apparently, the dodo was was neither fat nor stupid.

“It was adapted to the ecosystem in the isle of Mauritius that it had been living in for millions of years.”

The simple fact that a flightless bird could survive on an uninhabited island, in the middle of nowhere, for millions of years, implies a certain level of intelligence, I would say.

Of course, we’re here using the term, “unihabited” to mean “uninhabited by humans”. Or by any mammals, in fact. There were no mammals on the island when Portuguese sailors arrived in 1507.   This allowed the evolution of a number of unusual birds and reptile species on the island. When no people or dogs or cats are around, birds don’t need functional wings.  But if you’ve spent millions of years losing your ability to fly, it’s hard to get it back when the Portuguese arrive unexpectedly.

The researchers at the University of Southampton took closer look at the dodo’s anatomy — the skeletal remains — and determined that the dodo possessed a tendon in its leg almost the same diameter as the bone itself, a feature found in other bird species known for their speed and climbing agility, indicating the dodo was actually an incredibly fast runner.

You can run, but you can’t hide.  Not when the mammals have arrived.

“The dodo was the first living thing that was recorded as being present and then disappeared,” professor Gostling said in the video, adding that before the dodo’s extinction, “it hadn’t been thought possible” that human beings could exert so much influence on the environment.  Back then, people still thought God was in charge of extinctions. Noah’s Flood and so forth.

Now, we not only think it’s possible for humans to extinguish lifeforms forever… it’s pretty much guaranteed to happen.

I suppose the least we can do is apologize.  And the new research by the team at the University of Southampton is, kind of, an apology.  400 years too late, but maybe better late than never.

Anyway, today, I’m wishing I was still married, and Darlene could call me a dodo… and I’d have a few things to say about that.

Louis Cannon

Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.