In February 2020, Maine Senator Susan Collins talked to a CBS News reporter about the lesson then-President Donald Trump had learned, as the result of being impeached by the U. S. House of Representatives.
“I believe that the President has learned from this case,” she told Norah O’Donnell. “The president has been impeached. That’s a pretty big lesson. I believe that he will be much more cautious in the future.”
Senator Collins later clarified her remarks, explaining that she “hoped” President Trump had learned his lesson, rather than “believed” he had learned his lesson.
A big difference there. “Hoped” vs. “Believed”.
I learn my lesson at age six, when I shoplifted a yo-yo at the neighborhood dime store. My friend Larry had a red, plastic, Duncan-brand yo-yo and had learned several impressive tricks. ‘Walk the Dog’. ‘Around the World’. ‘Rock the Baby’. ‘Loop the Loop’…
When I asked him where he’d got his yo-yo, he confessed that he’d stolen it, and also advised me that shoplifting was a piece of cake.
As I recall, those were his exact words. “Piece of cake.”
Following Larry’s instructions, I successfully appropriated a yellow Duncan yo-yo (yellow, being my favorite color at the time) and embarked on the learning curve leading to yo-yo mastery.
Unfortunately, my mother caught me with my new toy, and managed to extract a confession about the toy’s providence, which — much to my embarrassment — resulted in a trip to the store to return the stolen merchandise, and issuance of an apology from me, to the store manager.
Nothing happened to Larry. He got off scot-free.
So there were two lessons I needed to learn, the first of which was, “Don’t let your mother catch you playing with a stolen yo-yo.”
The other lesson was, “Don’t listen to Larry.”
Many other lessons awaited me, later in life. However, I’m glad I learned those particular lessons at age six, rather than at age 77, when the punishment (and embarrassment) might have been more severe.
I refer to “age 77” because that’s the current age of a man who’s been in the news lately: former U.S. President Donald Trump. (He turns 78 on June 14.)
We don’t know, at this point, how many lessons Donald Trump has learned during his extensive business and political career, but we might wonder if he’s learned at least one from the recent ‘hush money’ trial that concluded last week in New York, when a jury of 12 people found him guilty of 34 felonies.
One possible lesson might be, “Don’t have unprotected sex with porn stars when you’re running for President.”
Back in 2020, at a press conference following Mr. Trump’s impeachment, an NBC reporter mentioned Senator Collins’ comment and wondered if he had, indeed, learned his lesson.
“Some Republicans have said they hoped you would learn a lesson from impeachment,” NBC News’ Peter Alexander said. “What lesson did you learn from impeachment?”
Trump replied, “That the Democrats are crooked; they’ve got a lot of crooked things going. That they’re vicious. That they shouldn’t have brought impeachment. And that my poll numbers are 10 points higher because of fake news like NBC, which reports the news very inaccurately — probably more inaccurately than CNN, if that’s possible.”
Trump then kicked the press out of the room.
Which goes to show, there are different lessons that can be learned from the very same event.
The lessons I have in mind, however, are the lessons you might learn from being convicted of 34 felonies.
Former President Trump held a press conference following the verdict, and clarified what he learned… about the judge, the prosecutors, the jurors, and Washington DC in general.
“These are bad people. These are, in many cases, I believe, sick people…”
Bad people, like Larry. I totally know how our former President feels.
“We just went through one of many experiences, where we had a conflicted judge. Highly conflicted judge. There’s never been a more conflicted judge…
“Now I’m under a gag order, a very nasty gag order, where I’ve had to pay thousands of dollars in penalties and fines, and I’ve been threatened with jail. Think of it. I’m the leading candidate for president, and I’m under as gag order by a man who can’t put two sentences together…
“This is all done by Biden and his people. Maybe mostly by his people. I’m not sure if Biden knows too much about it, because I don’t know if he knows about anything… This is done by Washington, and nobody has seen anything like it…”
The former president wound up his press conference by saying how sorry he feels about the prosecution of his Chief Financial Officer, Allen Weisselberg, who is now serving a sentence in New York’s notorious Rikers Island jail for tax evasion.
Mr. Weisselberg pleaded guilty to 15 felonies, and as part of his plea deal with prosecutors, he promised to testify truthfully at the trial of the Trump Organization… pay $2 million in back taxes… and waive any right to appeal. Mr. Weisselberg admitted he should have paid taxes on off-the-books compensation, which included a luxury Manhattan apartment, two Mercedes Benz car leases, and private school tuition for his grandchildren.
When my mom caught me with the stolen yo-yo, it actually felt good to confess and unload the weight off my guilty conscience. I can imagine Mr. Weisselberg experienced the same sense of relief. Maybe even greater relief, considering the relative size of his tax bill.
During the press conference, however, Mr. Trump seemed confused by what, exactly, had happened to his friend, Mr. Weisselberg.
“They destroyed him. He was with me for many years. He was an honorable person, he was an honest man. And if you look at what he did, supposedly — it never happened. There’s never been anything like this, over the education of his grandchildren, over… He didn’t report that he had a car… or two cars, on his income.
“I don’t know. I wonder how many people here [at this press conference] have a car? I wonder how many people say, gee, I have a car, that’s worth ‘x’ dollars. How do you even figure it? And I guess you do have to report it, but I would say probably almost nobody does…”
The lesson here is, yes, you probably do have to pay taxes on your income, which includes a luxury apartment and luxury cars for personal use provided by your employer, and even though almost nobody does report it, you can wind up in the Rikers Island jail.
So, like I said, I’m glad I learned my lessons when I was six.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.