President Biden is cruising to the Democratic nomination. Former President Donald J. Trump could begin to wrap up his party’s nod within days.
America’s response: This can’t be real.
— from a story by Reid J. Epstein and Ken Bensinger in The New York Times, January 19, 2024.
Let’s see… could we possibly have a worse match-up? I believe so.
Lauren Boebert v. Joe Manchin, for example.
But I actually had to think pretty hard to come up with that unpleasant combination.
Hard to beat a Biden v. Trump contest for causing indigestion and sleepless nights. A guy who’s about as exciting as watching paint dry… and a guy indicted on 91 felony counts, in four criminal trials.
If you can believe the U.S. Census Bureau, the population of the United States is about 335 million.
And that’s the best we can do, out of 335 million halfway intelligent citizens? Biden and Trump…?
(I had to toss in that ‘halfway intelligent’ comment, because I honestly haven’t met very many of those 335 million people, and ‘halfway’ seemed a safe estimate.)
I know that someone out there is going to say, “Well, Louis Cannon… if you’re so smart… why aren’t you running for President?”
Believe me, I’ve thought about it.
For about five seconds.
I would have to abandon this humor column, and be labeled as incompetent — for completely new reasons.
Apparently, the Biden campaign believes Joe’s polling numbers will improve, once the vast majority of voters realize that Donald has actually sewed up the Republican nomination.
If I’m not mistaken, the Donald’s poll numbers went up when Sleepy Joe announced his intention to run for re-election.
The only way either of these guys have any popularity at all is because we hate one of them more than the other.
Seems like a lot of smart Democrats want Biden to find a comfortable off-ramp, and get out of the way, and let someone more electable step up. But so far, the President has not been able to find the off-ramp.
Or maybe he can’t read the “WRONG WAY” sign.
Biden is not the only candidate disliked by members of his own party.
Lots of Republicans have been donating to Ron DeSantis’ campaign, and lots more have been donating to Nikki Haley’s campaign… hoping to avoid a replay of 2020. So far, to no avail. Looks more likely every day that “the summer re-runs” will feature the same two guys as in 2020.
Another reason to turn off the TV. As if we needed another reason.
During the 2020 contest, Donald was fond of calling his opponent, “Sleepy Joe”. Apparently, he’s now taken to calling him “Crooked Joe”.
So we have a guy involved in four criminal trials, facing 91 federal indictments, calling his opponent “crooked”.
If that weren’t so funny, I’d be laughing.
Then we have this Haley woman, continuing to challenge Donald.
In that regard, I’d like to quote Cyrus Stuart Ching, head of the U.S. Federal Mediation and Conciliation Service, speaking in 1948.
I am reminded of something my old uncle told me, long ago, back on the farm. He said. ‘What’s the sense of wrestling with a pig? You both get all over muddy … and the pig likes it.’
I’m not an expert on wrestling, but if Nikki Haley were in a match with Joe Biden, I’d put my money on Haley.
A wrestling match between Haley and Trump? I’m not so sure. Trump seems to have a weight advantage. And he definitely likes getting muddy. Speaking metaphorically, of course.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.