READY, FIRE, AIM: Everything I Needed to Know, I Learned From AI

Back when I was in high school, I thought knowing stuff was the goal. It seemed like, the more stuff you knew, the more respect you got, and the more money you could earn.

Write a grammatically correct sentence? Check.

Factor a quadratic equation? Check.

Explain the meaning of the 19th Amendment? Check.

Throw a football 40 yards into the hands of a receiver running downfield at full speed?

What??

As it turned out, you can earn a lot more money throwing a football, than writing a correct sentence.  But this was not made clear to me by my teachers.

And you can also earn a lot more money acting in Hollywood movies, or delivering political opinions on cable TV.  Again, we could have been told about this in high school, instead of having to figure it out for ourselves after it’s too late.

And now, with AI doing most of the writing of correct sentences, football is looking like an even better choice.

I suppose we should have known it was all going to be a downhill ride for human-driven work, when they started handing out pocket calculators in school. The stark dividing line, between those of us who knew the solution to “7×8=?” and those who didn’t, instantly disappeared. Luckily for me, I hated math, so the change didn’t matter.

But now, every kind of knowledge doesn’t matter. If you need someone to explain the meaning of the 19th Amendment, you can simply ask ChatGPT. Or Bard. Or Grok.

Here’s ChatGPT:

The 19th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, ratified in 1920, granted women the right to vote. Prior to its adoption, women in the United States were denied the fundamental right to participate in the democratic process solely based on their gender. The amendment marked a significant milestone in the struggle for women’s suffrage, a movement that had been gaining momentum for decades.

Here’s Bard:

In essence, the 19th Amendment stands as a landmark achievement in American history, solidifying women’s place as equal citizens with the right to participate fully in the democratic process. Its impact continues to resonate today, shaping the nation’s political landscape and reinforcing the principle of equal representation for all.

I couldn’t have said it better myself.  In fact, I couldn’t have said it at all. I wasn’t even sure that there was a 19th Amendment.  Who can keep track of that kind of thing?  (But I knew about the 2nd Amendment. I’m not that stupid.)

Anyway, there you have it.  Women have been voting for over 100 years, and our country is still a mess.  But now we have AI to explain why.

My point being, 99% of everything I learned in public school, and in college, can now be better explained by a computer, in grammatically correct sentences and with accurate dates attached.  Especially, the stuff I no longer remember.  So you could say that 17 years of my life, spent learn “stuff” (7 years in elementary school + 3 years in junior high + 3 years in high school + 4 years in college = 17 years) were essentially wasted.

But throwing a football?  AI still cannot throw a football.  And I will go out on a limb and predict that AI will never be able to throw a football like Tom Brady throws a football.

Naturally, these new developments are presenting an enormous challenge to the folks who make a living teaching in our public schools and colleges.  When I was in school, the teachers had no idea that, in 2023, all the time they spent pounding information into our heads would be time wasted.  But now, they know.  And some of them are angry about it.  And many more are depressed.

According to reporter Molly Roberts in last week’s Washington Post:

AI is forcing educators to rethink plagiarism guidelines, grading and even lesson plans. But above all, it is demanding that they decide what education is really about — that teachers ask, in short, “What are we here for, anyway?”

That’s a question students have been asking themselves for decades.  But now, even the teachers are asking it.

Ms. Roberts mentions a professor at Texas A&M who threatened to give his entire class failing grades because he thought they were using ChatGPT for their final essays.  Turned out, only one student confessed to using ChatGPT; several students were able to prove they had written their own essays.  Texas A&M did not accept the failing grade for any of the threatened students.

What Ms. Roberts did not clarify was, “Who wrote the best essays?  The students, or ChatGPT?”  I think I know the answer.

What are we here for?  All of us, I mean?  Within the next ten years, ChatGPT might be able to write a better humor column than a college-educated human.  (That’s extremely doubtful, but within the realm of possibility.)

If I were a teacher in 2023, I would want to be teaching football.

But then we have that little problem with football… namely, concussions.

AI doesn’t get concussions.

Louis Cannon

Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.