READY, FIRE, AIM: Save the Colorado River?

I used to have a couple of “Save the Whales” t-shirts, back when I was in college.  I don’t know what happened to them.  I should have saved them.

Saved the t-shirts, I mean.

You would think, saving a t-shirt would be easier than saving the whales.  But maybe not?  I hardly ever see anyone wearing “Save the Whales” t-shirts these days.  Maybe no one saved them?  I mean the t-shirts.

Also, I don’t see anyone wearing a “Save the Colorado River” t-shirt, but if you read the news lately, the Colorado River seems more endangered than the whales.

‘Saving things’ is an interesting idea.  Like, if you save whales, that means the whales can go on living, and can maybe have baby whales, that can also go on living.

If you save your t-shirts, it just means that you will eventually run out of closet space.

But what does it mean to save the Colorado River?

According to the news articles I’ve come across, the Colorado River has had its ups and downs, historically.  It’s running full at the moment, thanks to a decent snowfall last winter.  But then it gets stopped by the Glen Canyon Dam, and forced to fill up Lake Powell, to the best of its ability.

Is the Glen Canyon Dam saving the Colorado River… or killing it?

Like, for example, if all the whales were floating down the Colorado River, minding their own business, and then they all got stopped by the Glen Canyon Dam, would we think we were saving them?

Historically, there have been certain things that were not saved.  The Western Black Rhinoceros, for example, was hunted to extinction.  So was the Dodo.  I’m not clear if the Woolly Mammoth was hunted to extinction, but it was definitely not saved.  If you had a “Save the Woolly Mammoth” t-shirt, 10,000 years ago, it would be a collector’s item by now.

It would be very sad… if 10,000 years from now… a “Save the Colorado River” t-shirt were a collector’s item.

Some people know that Lake Powell (where the whales would get stuck?) was named after John Wesley Powell, who had only one arm but still managed to be one of the first people to successfully paddle an unstable boat down the Colorado River and through the Grand Canyon.  He was a geologist back when geology was still being invented, and he wrote a book titled, Report on the Lands of the Arid Region of the United States, first published in 1878.  In his book, he warned everyone that the Western U.S. had to be careful about using water, because of the lack of rain.

John Wesley Powell, in a thoughtful mood.

Did we listen?  Nope.  Especially, the farmers in California paid no attention whatsoever to Powell’s book. They just went ahead and started growing almond trees, and generally using as much water as humanly possible.

Powell was trying to save the Colorado River, but obviously, that didn’t happen, because we’re still talking about it.

One of the more interesting groups trying to save the Colorado is called, appropriately enough, “Save the Colorado”.

They seem to be a younger bunch who like to stand around in the river, holding protest signs, with no clothes on.  Showing off their tattoos, in some cases.

In other words, not wearing t-shirts.

Speaking personally, I would rather wear a “Save the Colorado River” t-shirt.  Out of a sense of modesty.

But would I save the t-shirt?  That’s the question.

Louis Cannon

Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.