Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro, his father-in-law, the priest of Midian, and he led the flock to the far side of the wilderness and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. There the angel of the Lord appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that, though the bush was on fire, it did not burn up. So Moses thought, “I will go over and see this strange sight — why the bush does not burn up…”
— Exodus, Chapter 3
Rep. Lauren Boebert claims that she is forcing a House vote on impeaching President Biden because she is “directed and led” by “the spirit of God” in everything she does: “We are doing what is right, what is righteous. History will prove that.”
— Twitter, June 21, 2023
Sources told the Daily Beast that Greene seized on the moment to confront her colleague, cameras be damned. “I’ve donated to you, I’ve defended you. But you’ve been nothing but a little bitch to me,” Greene allegedly said, “and you copied my articles of impeachment after I asked you to co-sponsor them…”.
— Rolling Stone Magazine, June 21, 2023
It had been a rough day in the House of Representatives for Colorado Rep. Lauren Boebert. She’d managed to get her articles of impeachment onto the House calendar — articles charging President Joe Biden with dereliction of duty at the southern border. She’d cleverly called up the articles on the House Floor under Rule 9.
Another masterful political maneuver, she had to admit.
But it had apparently resulted in the loss of her friendship with Marjorie Taylor Greene, who’d been trying to get her own impeachment articles voted on.
Majorie had called her a “bitch”… right there in front of the entire House. And with news media all around.
Oh, well… politics is a dirty sport. Luckily, Boebert had God on her side.
Now she seriously needed to relax. She was tempted to drive over the NRA Shooting Range in Fairfax and fire a few dozen rounds with her AR-15.
But the hour was late.
And her suburban rental outside of DC had a decently large backyard. Plus, the neighbors on both sides were out of town. Surely, no one would mind if she popped a few beer bottles with her Glock? Just for relaxation? Just to cool off?
She was setting up the bottles on a big cardboard Amazon box when she suddenly felt the hairs on the back of her neck standing up. Gripping the Glock with both hands, she turned slowly — and a cold chill ran up and down her spine.
The pink azalea bush next to the garage was on fire.
She instantly perceived that the bush was not being consumed by the fire.
A normal person’s first thought would have been, “Why isn’t the bush burning up?” Or maybe, “I shouldn’t have eaten those mushrooms.”
But Boebert was not a normal person. Her first thought was, “The Lord is here.”
And sure enough, a divine voice came out of the burning bush. “Lauren!”
“I’m here!” Boebert answered, trying to keep her voice from trembling.
“Do not come closer,” the voice warned. “I need to give you some direction. I know that, in the past, I have whispered to you, during prayers. But tonight, I must to speak to you directly and clearly. You must fulfill my instructions tomorrow. We cannot wait. The fate of the whole nation depends on you.”
“Yes, I know,” Boebert agreed.
“Lauren, the articles of impeachment that you brought to the House Floor using Rule 9. I need you to withdraw those articles.”
This was not at all what Boebert expected to hear.
“But why? I worked so hard to get that vote on the calendar.”
“I know how hard you’ve worked, Lauren. I know everything. But I cannot reveal everything to you, until the time is ripe. You must withdraw your articles of impeachment. It’s very important. Eternally important, in fact.”
That voice! During this mystical event, Boebert had been trying to wrap her head around the Lord’s voice. There was something so familiar about it.
A slight Southern drawl?
“I seem to recognize your voice,” Boebert blurted out.
“Of course you do. I’ve spoken to you many times. But this message is one you absolutely must understand, and fulfill.”
“But…” Boebert took a step toward the burning bush. “But, your voice…”
She took another step.
“Do not approach the bush, Lauren. I’m warning you. Do not approach the bush!”
She moved closer and could now feel the heat coming from the fire.
“Lauren, I’m not going to say it again. Do not approach the burning bush!” The Lord sounded… frantic.
Now Boebert could see, in the grass below the burning bush, a glint of the fire’s reflection… on the face of an iPhone.
The voice rose to a scream. “Don’t come any closer, you little bitch!”
Boebert realized that she was still holding her Glock. As she emptied it into the iPhone, she felt a divine energy flowing into every cell in her body.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.