READY, FIRE, AIM: Run, Hide, and Fight, with Winnie-the-Pooh

No, we’re not talking about a snowball fight.

We’re talking about school shootings, and how to survive in a public school in 2023.

And Winnie-the-Pooh apparently wants to help out.  Or maybe they’re twisting his arm… to help schools in Dallas, Texas, teach kids to be sufficiently fearful?

Technically, his name is Edward Bear. But he’s better known by his alias, ‘Winnie-the-Pooh”, especially after Walt Disney got a hold of him by purchasing a license from the estate of A.A. Milne, the guy who wrote the original stories about Pooh (as he’s known to his friends).

Edward Bear first came into existence in 1924 as an incidental character in Milne’s book of playful verses, When We Were Very Young.

In a lengthy (seven-page) poem entitled “Teddy Bear”, Edward struggles with his body image.

A bear, however hard he tries
Grows tubby without exercise.
Our Teddy Bear is short and fat,
Which is not to be wondered at…

…but in the end, decides against joining a gym, and finds handsome role models who are contentedly fat.  The King of France, for one… who, Edward discovers, is nicknamed “The Handsome”.

…But do you think it worries him
To know that he is far from slim?
No, just the other way about—
He’s proud of being short and stout.

The estate of A.A. Milne lost legal custody of Edward Bear last year, however, and Pooh’s likeness is now in the public domain.

Now, school districts — such as the Dallas Independent School District — can compel Pooh, and his friends (Piglet, Rabbit, Tigger, Owl, etc) to appear in instructional materials.

Like, for example, in the new book, “Stay Safe: Run, Hide, Fight”… sent home with elementary school students last month.

The characters are there, all right.  But the poetry is rather poor.

Where is A.A. Milne when we really need him?

From an article by Christina Hughes Babb in the May 21 issue of the Oak Cliff Advocate magazine:

Cindy Campos’ son Bowie was excited to read a book his pre-Kindergarten teacher at Stemmons Elementary handed out. As the family settled in at their Oak Cliff home, the young mom had a look at what she thought would be tonight’s bedtime literature.

The cover featured a familiar cartoon character, Winnie-the-Pooh, whose original image became public domain in 2022. It’s titled “Stay Safe” above the subtitle “Run Hide Fight,” which most Americans now know as protocol for reacting to an active shooter…

Campos says she wasn’t sure about reading it with Bowie. She thought about it for hours…

In response to complaints from some parents, Dallas ISD issued a statement that read, in part, “The reality that Dallas ISD faces is no different than any other school district in America. We work every day to prevent school shootings by dealing with online threats and by hardening our schools. In addition, we conduct active shooter drills, so students know what to do in case the unthinkable happens…”

For some reason, I find myself thinking about one of the stories in Milne’s 1926 book, Winnie-the-Pooh.

On a snowy morning, Edward Bear had discovered some tracks in the snow.  Possibly left by… a Woozle?

“What’s the matter?” asked Piglet.

“It’s a very funny thing,” said Bear, “but there seem to be two animals now. This — whatever-it-was — has been joined by another — whatever-it-is — and the two of them are now proceeding in company. Would you mind coming with me, Piglet, in case they turn out to be Hostile Animals?”

The snowy footprints they were following, as it turns out, were made by Pooh and Piglet themselves.

“I see now,” said Winnie-the-Pooh.

“I have been Foolish and Deluded,” said he, “and I am a Bear of No Brain at All.”

“You’re the Best Bear in All the World,” said Christopher Robin soothingly.

Louis Cannon

Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.