READY, FIRE, AIM: Black History Lessons Aren’t Usually Red; They’re Mostly Blue

We’re only about halfway through Black History Month, and already, certain politicians are seeing red.

Mostly, politicians in certain Red States, where History has always been White History, and presumably ought to remain White History.

The politicians in a number of Blue States, meanwhile, not only act like there’s nothing wrong with a bit of Black History now and then; they’re even passing laws, in some states, that require schools to teach Black History. These would be hopelessly Blue states like Connecticut, Delaware, Maine and Rhode Island.

The Red States that are easily offended by the idea of Black History are mostly White.  Curiously enough, however, even the Blue States that allow (or require) the teaching of Black History are mostly White.

The US Census, however, has taken a different approach to colorizing the 50 states, in terms of racial diversity.  Instead of Black and White, or Red and Blue, the Census has settled on shades of Green for portraying ‘Racial and Ethnic Diversity’.

If you’re riding a bus in Texas, for example, and you are — for example, White — there’s a 67% chance that the person sitting next to you on the bus is Not White.

Actually, that was a bad example, because White people usually don’t ride the bus.  But you get the idea.

If you live in Maine, meanwhile, and you are Black — working on a lobster boat, for example — it’s practically guaranteed that the crew member standing next to you is White.  Even though Maine is Blue, it’s almost entirely White.  But, the children still have a chance to study Black History.

If you’re attracted to racial and ethnic diversity, your best bet is Hawaii.  That person sitting next to you on the beach (perhaps playing a ukulele?) is almost certain to be from a different racial or ethnic group.  This is true even if you are the one playing the ukulele.

Certain Red States have been on a virtual rampage lately, trying to prevent school teachers from even mentioning the idea of race.  Another thing they don’t want mentioned in these Red States is homosexuality.  Of course, we know there are White homosexuals as well as Black homosexuals.  But the White legislators in these Red States don’t care what color you are, if you’re Gay.  They simply aren’t going to allow children to learn about Gay people.  Gay History is even worse than Black History.  (I believe teaching about Rainbows is also forbidden.)

For some odd reason, when The Washington Post made a map of the Red States that are forbidding these History subjects, they colored the states Pink or Purple.  (But we understand they are actually Red.)

The Gray States, in the map above, are a mix of Red and Blue States that haven’t yet passed laws forbidding the teaching of Black History. (Or Gay History.)

Tennessee stands out in this map, in Purple, having passed four laws controlling who can talk about homosexuality, three laws controlling who can talk about Black History, and two laws controlling what books can appear in school libraries.

I believe that qualifies Tennessee for the Guinness Book of World Records.

You can tell that the children, in this photo, are not from Tennessee.

In fact, they are from Canada.

You can tell, because they are smiling.  In many colors.

Louis Cannon

Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.