When I heard that Joe Biden might be running for a second term, in 2024, I started considering, “How hard would it be to beat Joe Biden?” I wondered if maybe even I could beat him.
Not too seriously. But in a daydreamy kind of way.
You know, seeing myself living in a big white house, with a taxpayer-funded gardener to tend the roses. Married to a wonderfully attractive First Lady, whoever that might turn out to be. Hosting diplomatic dinners cooked by a famous French chef. Making mildly threatening statements, aimed at Vladimir Putin and Xi Jinping. Posting uncensored Twitter comments, courtesy of my new friend, Elon Musk.
Then I saw, on Tuesday, that Donald Trump has announced his intention to run for president in 2024.
This completely deflated my wonderful daydream bubble. I mean, who can possibly defeat Donald Trump in a race for the Presidency? (Okay, yes, Joe Biden beat him two years ago, but must have been a fluke. I mean really, Joe Biden?)
In my daydream, I was imagining former president Trump living quietly at Mar-a-Lago, feeling satisfied with four years of political achievements. Enjoying his golf course, and doing his best not to think about his 2020 loss to a potentially-senile Democrat.
But apparently I was wrong. Donald Trump’s picture is now all over the internet, following his announcement. Some of the news stories, from the Lamestream Media, claimed that the hour-long speech was “boring”…
How could anyone call this boring:
Ladies and gentlemen, distinguished guests, and my fellow citizens, America’s comeback starts right now.
Two years ago when I left office, the United States stood ready for its golden age. Our nation was at the pinnacle of power, prosperity and prestige, towering above all rivals, vanquishing all enemies and striding into the future confident and so strong.
In four short years, everybody was doing great. Men, women, African-Americans, Asian-Americans, Hispanic-Americans, everybody was thriving like never before.
There was never a time like this…
Who could possibly speak more eloquently?
Though I don’t exactly recall everybody “doing great” in November 2020, when Joe Biden won the election and Donald Trump tried to overturn the vote tally. Personally, I was still recovering from COVID, and my sick leave had been used up. Luckily I was able to borrow some money from my parents, to get the collection agency off my back; it’s been a struggle to pay off the student loans I took out in 1983.
…everybody was thriving like never before….
Maybe the former president is exaggerating? Just a bit?
I would never say that he was “lying.” That would be something the Lamestream Media would say, but not me.
The part of the former president’s speech I liked best, came at the end of his hour-long announcement.
If our movement remains united and confident, then we will shatter the forces of tyranny, and we will unleash the glories of liberty for ourselves and for our children and for generations yet to come.
America’s golden age is just ahead, and together we will make America powerful again. We will make America wealthy again. We will make America strong again. We will make America proud again. We will make America safe again. We will make America glorious again.
And we will make America great again.
If I were elected President — which is definitely not going to happen, now that Donald Trump has once again stepped up to the plate — I would certainly want to shatter the forces of tyranny. I’m not sure exactly what that means, but it has a great ring to it. I would also want to unleash the glories of liberty for ourselves and for our children, and for generations yet to come. Who wouldn’t?
And I would want to make America wealthy again. Although I realize we have to keep a certain number of poor people around, to do the jobs no wealthy person would stoop to.
And I’m pretty sure Donald Trump would agree. That we need at least a few poor people around. Maybe several million, in fact. Although he didn’t mention it during his announcement, in so many words.
It’s part of having a great country. Having enough poor people to go around.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.