FOX News published in an article on February 8, letting us know that the the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services (HHS) was planning to supply ‘underserved communities’ with free crack pipes.
Many of us living in Pagosa Springs feel that we are an ‘underserved community’, especially as regards free crack pipes. (The 400-word Fox News article by reporter Sam Dorman didn’t specifically mention Pagosa Springs.)
Apparently there was some confusion going on, however… and maybe those of us in Pagosa who may have let ourselves get all excited, won’t be getting any of the “safe smoking kits/supplies” that were mentioned in the HHS announcement of the new grants program…
Smoking is generally dangerous, as we all know. Especially tobacco. But also other drugs, like crack cocaine. So the idea that the federal government might be distributing free “safe smoking kits” made me feel like, finally, my tax money is being used wisely. The program would make smoking safer. Especially for those of us in underserved communities.
My elation was, alas, temporary.
At first, the only information I’d read about this exciting program was from the February 8 Fox News article, and it mostly talked about angry Republicans, and didn’t explain how the “safe smoking kits” would make smoking safer for me. But three days later — after the Fox News article had been shared with readers nationally — a TV station in Kansas (FOX4) published a fact-check article by Brianna Lanham, about the free crack pipes:
White House press secretary Jen Psaki pushed back on reports of crack pipes being distributed in safe smoking kits in a press briefing on Wednesday, saying earlier reporting mischaracterized the federal giveaway and was inaccurate.
“A safe smoking kit may contain alcohol swabs, lip balm, and other materials to promote hygiene and reduce the transmission of diseases like HIV and hepatitis,” she said during the press briefing.
Obviously, I had got myself all worked up and excited over… what? Free lip balm?
HHS secretary Xavier Becerra reiterated the depressing news. “Accordingly, no federal funding will be used directly or through subsequent reimbursement of grantees to put pipes in safe smoking kits.”
How the federal government can describe something as a “safe smoking kit”… when it doesn’t include a pipe… makes absolutely no sense to me.
But then, a lot of what the government does, makes no sense to me. Even when I’m high.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.