I ran across a front page headline in the Los Angeles Times yesterday.
“Democrats vow to tackle climate.”
The story (which I didn’t bother to read) was illustrated with a photo of President Biden exiting Marine One at the White House, looking a bit depressed.
Or maybe, extremely depressed.
You can’t always tell how President Biden is feeling, from his photo. Especially when he’s wearing a COVID mask. But we know he and his Democratic Party allies are facing an uphill challenge on their agenda — which includes tackling the climate.
The same issue of the Times had a front page story about the closure of the last Marie Callendar’s restaurant in the San Fernando Valley, just before Thanksgiving. No more pumpkin pies. America once had more than 150 Marie Callendar’s restaurants. Only 27 are left. A lot of them got killed off by the pandemic lockdowns.
It’s completely possible that’s the real reason for President Biden’s sad face.
But I have a different theory about why the President looks so depressed.
Let’s face it. The climate is a tough thing to tackle. Especially, if the people expected to do the tackling are pasty-faced, out-of-shape politicians who drink too many martinis with lunch.
The climate, as we all know, desperately needs to be tackled. It’s been making a long (and so far, very successful) end-run around President Biden and the Democrats, and the Republicans haven’t been much help. In fact, some Republicans have been rooting for the climate.
Who can we turn to?
You want something tackled? Get someone who knows how to tackle! Being a loyal fan, I recommend the Denver Broncos defense.
I got this idea from my neighbor’s car. He has a Broncos logo on the rear window of his minivan, and also a bumper sticker that says, “Let’s Tackle the Climate.”
The Denver Broncos defense has allowed just 17.4 points per game this season, tied for the second-best average in the NFL. A lot of their success comes from tackling big, heavy objects (usually, opponents) who need to be tackled, but who are trying their very best to avoid being tackled. Like, for example, the climate.
I do not recommend the Broncos offense, however. They’ve been an embarrassment this season. Sort of like the Democrats, in Congress.
I’m left wondering, ‘What if the Congressional Democrats switched places with the Broncos’ offensive lineup?’ Would our chances actually improve… in both cases?
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.