HMPRESENTLY: A Little Peek-a-Boo… and Smooching, Too

You know that TV series, The Bachelor? There’s a spinoff for seniors, in the works.

The new spinoff will feature “active and outgoing single men and women in their golden years,” according to stories in the media. Like the young folks, the older folks, apparently, will be looking for love.

And while some things, with lovemaking, change, from one generation to another, some things stay, pretty much, the same.

Like French kissing, which was a big deal, during my adolescent years. Having watched a few minutes of The Bachelor, from time to time, I can say, unequivocally, that French kissing is about as intense, as ever.

And those scenes of nubile, young couples, when they’re in a big hot tub… I better leave that to your imagination.

So, you’ve got to wonder how the producers of The Bachelor spinoff — shall we say? — position the older folks, who will be appearing in the shows.

Will they be cavorting in an organic vegetable garden, playing a little peek-a-boo, where the cauliflower and sweet bell peppers are sprouting? Or, will they be cavorting on a sandy beach?

Will comparing their cholesterol blood test numbers — their HDL and LDL — be a real turn-on, with a guy telling a gal her HDL is something to behold?

Isn’t HDL considered the good cholesterol?

Will she want to explore his hip replacement scars, or he, hers?

A guy telling a lady he’s into fiber… will that be a real turn-on, too?

Will she say… “I like a man who’s into things like that. But you better not be leading me on! Because I was fooled, when I was in a past relationship, and I’ve never quite gotten over that!”

And will he reply… “No, no, my dear! I’m as into fiber as some other things I had in my system, in the 1960s.”

How will high-tech gadgets shape relationships? When a gal is telling a guy about her new high-tech watch, and he’s saying… “No kidding? It’s monitoring your heart rate? Well, how about we smooch, a little, and see what happens?”

Who needs a steamy hot tub, when a wristwatch might very well do the trick? So to speak?

Harvey Radin

Harvey Radin is former senior vice president in charge of corporate communications and media relations, Bank of America Western Region. He makes his home in Redwood City, CA.