READY, FIRE, AIM: Ain’t No Mountain High Enough

Something took place yesterday, December 8, that had not happened in recent memory. The governments of China and Nepal agreed on a new ‘official height’ for Mount Everest: 8,848.86 meters.

Mt. Everest — known locally as Sagarmatha-Zhumulangma — sits on the political boundary between Nepal and China, and when China measured the height as 8,844.43 meters in 2005, the Nepal government refused to accept the measurement, and requested that the two governments collaborate together on setting the number.

The new measurement was declared by Nepal’s Foreign Minister Pradeep Gyawali in Kathmandu, and by his Chinese counterpart Wang Yi, during a virtual conference, when they each pressed an identical crystal ball.

Few of us think of mountains as things that grow or shrink, but it’s been quite apparent that Mount Everest changes its height on a regular basis. In 1856, the height was 8,840 meters, as measured by India. In 1903, India did another measurement and pegged it at 8,882 meters. In 1975, it stood at 8,848 meters, as measured by China. In 1999, the US declared the height to be 8,850.

Both Nepal and China sent teams to measure the peak within the past 12 months, and the result ended their political differences about the height of the world’s most famous mountain. The cooperation seems to reflect a warming relationship between China and Nepal, but it also could have just been been some surveyors with cabin fever.

In spite of its changing height, Mt. Everest has remained the world’s tallest peak since at least 1856, and it has also become one of the world’s most popular tourist attractions. (Next year’s tourist will, however, be climbing a mountain that is nearly three feet shorter than it was in 1999.)

Not all height measurements are so politically convenient these days, however.

For the pasr four years, the liberal US media has been questioning the official height of President Donald Trump, who has been giving his height as 6 foot 3 inches.

Numerous news stories have pegged the President’s actual height at less than 6 foot, and have accused the President of wearing ‘elevator shoes’ that add 2 to 3 inches to his apparent height. Recent photographs of the President standing next to people known to be taller than 6 foot — both wearing shoes — suggest that he may be shorter than official measurements indicate.

In December 2019, former Vice President Joe Biden’s campaign released the results of his physical exam. According to the medical experts who conducted the exam, Biden stands 5 feet, 11.65 inches tall. However, several prominent Republicans have labeled that report as “fraud” and have demanded a recount, threatening to take the case to the US Supreme Court.

President Trump, meanwhile, has been challenged to release the transcripts of his own physical exam… and during a rally in North Carolina last summer, he did seemingly make a promise to release it.

“I am much, much taller than sleepy Joe Biden,” he assured his rally audience. “Much taller. You cannot believe how much taller I am. And I can prove it. I will be releasing my physical exam shortly, as soon as my lawyers look it over. Sleepy Joe is a midget, compared to me.”

To date, however, the President has not released the report.

“Donald Trump is afraid to release his medical exam,” stated President-elect Biden last week. “He knows that I’m taller than he is, and he can’t bear to admit it publicly.”

A few news reports have suggested that President-elect Biden has been secretly negotiating with China and Nepal, to cap their success in measuring Mt. Everest by collaborating on a similar effort to measure President Trump.

Louis Cannon

Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.