So far, so good.
Election Day, November 3, one of the most anxiety-producing days in recent American history, has come and gone, and the world did not end. For all anyone can tell, ballots are still being counted peacefully in a few government courthouses… in Georgia, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Nevada, and Arizona.
Apparently, states that have names ending in the letter ‘a’ haven’t quite figured out how to run an election during a pandemic. Thank heavens, Colorado ends in ‘o’.
I was disappointed that Neil Young didn’t get more votes than he did. I understand he couldn’t expect to win in Georgia or Alabama, after writing that song, “Southern Man”. But “Sugar Mountain” should have won him some votes. Of course, we have the conspiracy theory rumors that he was born in Canada. That’s probably why he did so poorly.
But to get back to the subject at hand. The end of the world.
The really great thing about worrying that the world will end — so many other things seem totally unimportant. Like that funny grinding noise my car has been making when I hang a sharp left. And calories. Who, I ask you, has been counting calories over the past two weeks? Not me, that’s for sure.
The scary part about the end of the world… I mean, there are quite a few scary parts, but the scariest part is the thought of being the last person, left behind.
There you are, walking through a parking lot full of abandoned cars. The sky is on fire. And you have lost the battery charger for your phone.
Then you realize, no one is going to call you, because you are the last person on earth. Sure, you could probably talk to Siri — but would that really be satisfying?
But maybe that’s not the worst thing that could happen. What if there were actually two people left? You and this other guy… and he was a socialist?
And he had also lost his phone charger…
Anyway, I’m glad the world did not end on November 3. We will have to wait until Pennsylvania get done with their ballot count.