Research has shown that accepting negative emotions, rather than avoiding or dismissing them, may actually be more beneficial for a person’s mental health in the long run. One 2018 study tested the link between emotional acceptance and psychological health in more than 1,300 adults and found that people who habitually avoid acknowledging challenging emotions can end up feeling worse…
— article by reporter Allyson Chiu in the Washington Post ‘Wellness’ section, August 19, 2020
I’ve refrained, for many years, from acknowledging the negative emotions that plague my soul.
Okay, not entirely. There have been occasions when I’ve allowed some of the vast negativity that dwells inside my soul to spill out on the people around me.
Anyone who has read my recent Daily Post essays has been a victim of those pessimistic views. But it turns out, those Daily Post readers weren’t ‘victims’ after all. In fact, it would appear that I’ve been helping everyone stay healthier. Everyone, including me.
From an article in the Washington Post by reporter Allyson Chiu:
In the midst of a raging pandemic and widespread social unrest, these days it can feel as if reassuring platitudes are inescapable.
“Everything will be fine…” “It could be worse…” “Look on the bright side…”
But as well intentioned as those who lean on such phrases may be, experts are cautioning against going overboard with the “good vibes only” trend. Too much forced positivity is not just unhelpful, they say — it’s toxic.
“While cultivating a positive mind-set is a powerful coping mechanism, toxic positivity stems from the idea that the best or only way to cope with a bad situation is to put a positive spin on it and not dwell on the negative,” said Natalie Dattilo, a clinical health psychologist with Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston. “It results from our tendency to undervalue negative emotional experiences and overvalue positive ones…”
“… ‘Looking on the bright side’ in the face of tragedy of dire situations like illness, homelessness, food insecurity, unemployment or racial injustice is a privilege that not all of us have,” she said. “So promulgating messages of positivity denies a very real sense of despair and hopelessness, and they only serve to alienate and isolate those who are already struggling…”
Finally, the clinical psychologists have come around to endorsing my negative focus on everything and everyone. It just took a little global pandemic to make them see the light.
As far as I can tell, the problems all started in 1898, when a boy named Norman Vincent Peale was born in to a loving family in Ohio, and subsequently earned several degrees in theology and then spent his life encouraging people to think ‘positive.’ He not only preached the “power of positive thinking” from his pulpit at New York City’s Marble Collegiate Church, he also published over 40 books, traveled the nation as a motivational speaker, hosted radio and TV shows, co-founded the American Foundation of Religion and Psychiatry, and published a spiritual newsletter called Guideposts.
Most of the damage, however, arose from his best-selling book, The Power of Positive Thinking, first published in 1952 — a book which spent over three years on The New York Times’ best-sellers list — including almost a year in the No. 1 spot for non-fiction. It was translated into 40 languages.
The book is still popular today, and ranks #9 on Amazon.com under “Inspiration & Spirituality.”
In his famous book, author Peale shared ten rules such as, “Picture yourself succeeding”, and “Think a positive thought to drown out a negative thought.”
Some of the rules are more difficult to follow than others. For example, he recommends that we repeat the following phrase ten times a day:
“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”
That’s where I closed the book and gave up. I can’t pronounce the word “strengtheneth” even one time, let alone ten times.
And it’s so much easier to be negative. For one thing, you can admit failure at the drop of a hat. You can look at a word like “strengtheneth” and simply admit that you can’t pronounce it.
One thing that Norman Vincent Peale does get right, however. He claims that most people worry about things that probably won’t happen — that most obstacles are “mental in character.”
For example. I thought I was going to have to work at the same boring. low-paid job for the rest of my life, while paying exorbitant rent, and basically living on the edge of survival. Then, global pandemic came along… and I was laid off, with no hope of having any kind of a job in the near future. I haven’t been able to pay rent since April.
Sure, I’m still living on the edge of survival. But now, at least I can feel negative about it, with any guilt.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.