The controversy du jour among those who see everything in terms of oppression by the “patriarchy” (whatever that is) involves a graduation commencement speech at Benedictine College by a member of the Super Bowl champion Kansas City Chiefs, field goal kicker Harrison Butker.
Benedictine is a small, private Catholic college. The most controversial part of Mr. Butker’s address seems to be this:
For the ladies present today, congratulations on an amazing accomplishment. You should be proud of all that you have achieved to this point in your young lives. I want to speak directly to you briefly because I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolical lies told to you. How many of you are sitting here now about to cross this stage and are thinking about all the promotions and titles you are going to get in your career? Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world…
The “diabolical lies” reference is consistent with the observation by clinical psychologist Dr. Jordan Peterson, who spent years counseling childless professional women who, upon reaching career success, were unhappy.
Dr. Peterson, speaking in 2017, said:
“It isn’t really obvious to me that young women in our society are told the truth about what their lives are likely to be like. They’re taught both explicitly and implicitly that their primary interest will be in the pursuit of a dynamic career. And there are some real problems with that…”
News media are reporting there is a battle now raging on social media between degree-holding, professional women who support Mr. Butker, and those who don’t.
For example, this from a woman physician posted on ‘X’ (formerly Twitter),
Hi my name is Rupali [Chadra]. I’m a Johns Hopkins educated, double board certified and licensed, practicing physician, but building my family, our legacy is my greater honor. I agree with Harrison Butker! More wives and mothers please!
And this, also on ‘X’,
My name is Tara [Ross]. I am a Rice University grad and a UT Law School grad. I know a ton about the Electoral College, constitutional history, and American history in general… I have authored multiple books. The greatest thing I’ve done in my life, however, are my family/kids. I agree with Harrison Butker. More wives and mothers, please.
Those were in response to Noelle Fitchett, who reacted to the social media backlash against Mr. Butker, by posting:
Can we start a trend with women with degrees and careers but agree with Harrison Butker’s speech? I’ll go first: my name is Noelle, I have three degrees, and I agree that the world needs more masculinity and that wives and mothers are vital for society.
There is, of course, backlash against the supporters of Mr. Butker. Kathi Woods, a journalist, posted:
Many of us are wives, moms and — wait for it — hold degrees. I stayed home for two years with my daughter and it was great but we could afford it and wait for it was my choice. No man or society forced me into it. That’s key part Harrison missed. It should be our choice. Not his….
Okay, fine. Women have that choice. Where in his comments did Mr. Butker say they didn’t? See, here is the problem with the ‘patriarchy’ critics. They presume oppression where it doesn’t exist.
Coincidentally, I just finished reading The Pope’s Daughter, a fascinating biography of Felice della Rovere. She was the illegitimate daughter of Catholic Cardinal Giuliano della Rovere, who subsequently became Pope Julius II — the Pope who commissioned Michelangelo to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican City.
Felice was born late in the 1480s. She was a contemporary of another illegitimate daughter of a Pope, the much more famous Lucrezia Borgia. Their fathers were mortal political enemies.
Like most young women in her circumstances in the Renaissance, Felice entered an arranged marriage in her early teens — then was widowed while still a teenager. Under the law at the time, the dowry her father had provided as part of the marriage contract reverted to Felice upon the death of her husband — leaving her uniquely financially independent for a young woman of that era. It enabled her to remain unmarried for several years — again unique.
In her 20s, Felice married a second time, again arranged, to the scion of one of the richest families in Italy, the Orsini family. Because her husband was away a lot of the time, Felice managed the Orsini family businesses — and, in the mean time, used her own dowry money from her first marriage to invest in high-end real estate (such as the original Trinita del Monte building, located on the hill now at the top of the Spanish Steps in Rome).
In the course of her successful family, and personal, business endeavors, Felice bore four children. When husband #2 died, Felice (then in her 30s) became regent to her minor son, the Orsini heir, and governoretrex (essentially the CEO) of the Orsini estates and businesses.
For the next nearly two decades, without the benefit of any higher education, Felice managed the Orsini family business affairs — including during the sack of Rome in 1527 by troops of the Holy Roman Emperor during his war with France. She survived that disaster by her wits, and the business contacts she had made. Felice died about a decade later at the age of 56(?)
There are no known images of Felice, however Sebastiano del Piombo’s portrait of an unknown woman is likely her. The woman is dressed in a dark dress and white veil, which Felice always wore since her first widowhood – and the scene through the window in the background appears to be the Orsini castle where she lived.
(Felice also appears to be pictured, without being identified, among the characters in two famous fresco paintings by her contemporary Raphael — ‘The Mass at Balsena’ and ‘The School of Athens’ — suggesting she was the Renaissance’s version of rock & roll muse Patty Boyd.)
So what does the biography of an extraordinary Renaissance woman have to do with the commencement speech by the kicker of the Kansas City Chiefs? It’s how Felice saw herself, and spent most of her life. She was dedicated to her children’s legacy.
In her last years, Felice reflected that all her efforts to manage, and preserve, the Orsini estates were for her childrens’ benefit. She devoted her last years to arranging marriages, to princes, for her two daughters — which required intricate business negotiations, on her part, for appropriate dowries.
In an era when, as a woman, she could not even sign a contract or testify in court, Felice became one of the most influential people of the Italian Renaissance. She was an unofficial international ambassador for two Popes, an advisor to the Queen of France (Catherine de Medici) — and was a friend of Michelangelo, from whom she received a gift of the early sketches he used as templates for the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.
Felice della Rovere-Orsini overcame illegitimate birth when that stigma meant something. She thrived in business and politics. And yet, as reflected in her own letters late in life, Felice was most proud of her roll as a mother.
That illustrates what Harrison Butker means by women today being “lied” to, about what should be important in their lives.