On Friday, in Part One, we considered the low rates of reporting by victims of sexual violence and reviewed prevalence data.
At this point, I would like to invite the reader to listen to real testimonies offered by courageous men and women who have detailed the impact they suffered as the result of sexual trauma. One such courageous man is pianist James Rhodes, author of the book Instrumental. The reader can listen to his personal accounts here:
Trauma responses are different for each individual and the coping mechanisms and rates of recovery also vary individually.
In the face of a traumatic event that overwhelms normal coping mechanisms such as sexual violence, individuals react in four different ways in order to protect the self and survive: fight, flight, freeze and appease. J. D’Anniballe (2012) noted that while the flight and flight reactions are generally well understood, the two others are less known and typically more confusing to the victims, who are prone to question why they responded in one particular way. Freeze reactions occur when the individual’s nervous system is activated and the person unable to fight or flee remains physically immobilized, limp, or “frozen.“ It is a self protective mechanism to remove oneself from the event mentally to decrease the pain. The “appease” reaction occurs when the individual goes along with the attack or even interacts with the perpetrator in a desperate attempt to minimize the harm or length of the event.
It is essential to understand that all of these reactions are normal survival defense mechanisms.
The aftermath of sexual trauma varies and can produce different degrees and types of problems. Among these the victim can feel at different degrees anxiety, panic, hyper-vigilance, startle responses, fear, flashbacks, depression, intrusive memories of the event, nightmares, disrupted sleep, concentration difficulties, guilt, shame, self-blame, dissociation, avoidance, emotional numbing behaviors, physical health symptoms, substance abuse and even attempt suicide.
In children, trauma is processed more physically, such as re-enacting the trauma or regressing to earlier stages of development when the child felt safe. Memories of sexual trauma are often fragmented. The individual may vividly remember details or only certain parts, or may not remember the experience as linear, in a chronological manner. Dr. Henderson Daniels noted that “while memory of past day-to-day events is often poor, research has shown that memory of traumatic events is stored differently in the brain. Some memories are so emotionally charged that they become frozen in time, and some particulars can be recalled in excruciating detail as If the event just occurred, while others may be forgotten.”
Keeping in mind what we know about recall of traumatic events such as sexual violence, the American Psychological Association cautions against questioning the integrity or veracity of sexual trauma survivors’ reports, as doing so will make it even more likely that other victims will not report their experiences. As I write this, I am reminded of a news article about another case of victim blaming in an Irish Court, where the defense attorney blamed the 17-year-old rape victim on the basis of how “she was dressed.” The 27-year-old was acquitted. Needless to say, one’s apparel is not equal to giving consent.
Helping Sexual Trauma Victims and Survivors
We have now learned that sexual violence is vastly under-reported. In addition, it can take years to summon up the courage to tell anyone. When a sexual trauma victim or survivor takes the step of telling her/his story, it is essential to encourage the person to access the help they need, whether it is by making a police report, or seeking professional services, or both. It is also essential that the person exercises her/his own choices to not be once again, overpowered. The victim must regain a sense of control over what has been an overwhelming experience of not having any. It is essential as well to avoid trivializing the individual’s experiences with comments that while well-intended, can be heard as judgmental (i.e., “count your blessings, it could have been worse”; or “you are lucky you were not hurt that bad.”)
It is also very important to avoid making comparisons, as each person will experience trauma and recover from it differently, at their own pace, time, and with trusted others of their choice. All victims and survivors strongly benefit from being heard without judgment, from being encouraged to express their feelings verbally or artistically in any form. Most of all, they all will benefit from being given control over their own individual process of recovery and from approaches that focus on improving their daily functioning. Avoid assuming how they feel. Instead, adopt an open attitude of curiosity towards her/him. Be a good active listener, patient, present and there for them when he/she is willing or able to talk. And it is also essential that you as provider of services, take care of yourself in the process and become aware of your own biases about sexual trauma.
For victims and survivors, the good news is that the effects of sexual trauma do not have to last a lifetime. Psychological interventions are effective in preventing many of its long time effects (APA). For a comprehensive listing of agencies to help sexual trauma victims and survivors, visit National Resources for Sexual Assault Survivors and their Loved Ones.
“Do not get lost in a sea of despair. Be hopeful, be optimistic. Our struggle is not the struggle of a day, a week, a month or a year. It is the struggle of a life time. Never, ever be afraid to make some noise and get in good trouble. Necessary trouble. “
— John Lewis, 2018