You know that new Space Force that was just recently added to our nation’s existing armed forces — the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines? It’s been assigned a mission: American dominance in space.
When it comes to space races, our existing military forces haven’t exactly been sitting idly by, according to news media… but that’s another story.
Taking care of business in outer space is important, no doubt about it. But in the meantime, we’re not keeping up in another key race. Our nation’s “losing the toilet race,” I discovered in an article in NPR’s Planet Money newsletter.” We’re way behind, so to speak.
After returning from his first trip to Japan, writer Greg Rosalsky is “now in love with the country. The ramen, yakitori and sushi. The gorgeous volcanoes. The fascinating people and culture. But of all the things I fell in love with,” he writes, “there’s one that I can’t stop thinking about: the toilets.”
“Japanese toilets are marvels of technological innovation,” he goes on to say. “They have integrated bidets, which squirt water to clean your private parts. They have dryers and heated seats. They use water efficiently, clean themselves and deodorize the air, so bathrooms actually smell good. They have white noise machines, so you can fill your stall with the sound of rain for relaxation and privacy. Some even have built-in night lights and music players. It’s all customizable and controlled by electronic buttons on a panel next to your seat.”
And they are everywhere, even in bus stations.
“Then, I come back to the United States, and our toilets are stuck in the age of dirty coal mines and the horse and buggy,” he opines. “They basically have one feature: flush.”
How can that be, that we’ve fallen so far behind? If taking care of business way up in space is a key mission for our nation, how can we ignore taking care of business right down here, on America’s very own terra firma?
Now, listen here! We’ve got to establish American dominance in the toilet race! This is no time to sit around! Let’s get going… So to speak.