In a possibly fatal blow to the efforts of “Climate Change” experts, the little town of Pagosa Springs was slammed with three inches of snow over the past weekend.
Although some residents described the resultant climatic redecorating as “lovely” and “beautiful”, the Colorado Council of Frightened Scientists found itself scrambling to give a positive spin to the dramatic weather.
Some local Pagosa residents, meanwhile, were heard expressing their displeasure.
“I don’t see how anybody in their right mind can say we have global warming, when this kind of thing can happen in the middle of April,” protested Waylon Beefeater as he shoveled his walkway on Hermosa Street in downtown Pagosa. “Look at this snow. And on top of it, right when we have to get our taxes mailed off…”
“The wife is pretty darned upset about what this will do to her tulips.”
Mr. Beefeater said he plans to drive his Ford F-250 pickup around the downtown area for several hours, in hopes of contributing additional “greenhouse gases” to the atmosphere.
“We gotta do whatever we can to stay warm, because the politicians in Washington are doing everything they can to cool things down. This just ain’t right, snow in April. They keep telling us the climate is getting warmer, and then they let this kind of thing happen. I should never have voted for Obama.”
Meanwhile, Professor Bud Skylark and his public relations team from the Colorado Council of Frightened Scientists have been doing their best to downplay the unseasonal snow event in Pagosa Springs.
“We take this kind of event very seriously,” Professor Skylark told a gathering of one reporter on Monday morning. “The scientific community — and by that I mean about the 99 percent of American scientists who accept the reality of anthropogenic climate change — the scientific community does not advocate nor endorse snowfall in April, especially in economically challenged communities like Pagosa Springs. Although I guess the local ski area was open for the weekend. So maybe that’s a good thing? Every cloud has a silver lining… and that, too, is a well-accepted scientific fact.”
“Maybe it’s a silver lining for all the damn Texans flocking to the ski area,” Mr. Beefeater barked, as he tossed another shovelful of snow into his neighbor’s yard. “I’m too old for this.”
Professor Skylark was reluctant to admit that this climate event has basically dismantled the theoretical house of cards so carefully assembled over the past two decades by highly paid climate scientists who can afford to have immigrant laborers shovel their walkways.
“Isolated events, like the one this past weekend in Pagosa, certainly need to be taken into account as we develop our complex climate models. And you can remind your readers that we run these complex models on very complex computers. Of course, all our computers have energy-saving enhancements.”
So how does the professor explain snow in April, if all the computer models show bright sunny days, way too hot for comfort?
“We’re still refining the models.”
“That’s what I mean,” snorted Mr. Beefeater. “A bunch of scientists, sitting around all day, refining models. While the rest of us are out shoveling snow and watching our tulips get killed.”
The White House was silent, when contacted for comment.
Underrated writer Louis Cannon grew up in the vast American West, although his ex-wife, given the slightest opportunity, will deny that he ever grew up at all.